What a way to end 2011!!
Feeling like shit, worthless and so much more.
And where am I spending it my NYE?
At home like always.
Christmas at home = Kill me now!!
So we had Christmas at home -__- when we have it at home there’s always conflict. Let me show you the pros and cons.
Pros
- Wear what ever you want.
- Mum makes the best food.
Cons
- Have to clean up the house.
- Little space.
- No where to play.
- Arguments.
- More cleaning.
- Washing up.
- No sleeping.
- Forgot Loss of appetite.
Who would’ve thought I’m not even allowed to have a nap when everyone has left either and we’re at home.
Hate Christmas sometimes you get all excited and shit and then when the day comes it all goes downhill.
Hopes and Dreams may come to an end!!
Knowing there’s a good possibility you may have a disease changes everything. It may not be a deathly type of disease but it changes all your routines, your hopes and dreams. They all come crashing down because you know you can’t have any medical issues. Not even my back up career would allow me to get in.
Love being sick :(
Especially when I’m physically unable to get out of bed.
Took 10 mins to get me out my room and to the toilet. With the help of your mumma :).
Me and I look black as haha there’s a better photo that shows it let me upload it for ya’s - Schoolies Week 2011
I’m tripping out!!
Ergh… there’s another voice in my head and it won’t leave me the FUCK alone!!
It’s not the first either I started having this since I was 7. Always ends in a shit sleep. When I first started to get this I’d always have dreams of being chased by a gunman in a cloak and hat like the movies and it’s in black and white.
Oh and it gets worse when people talk and they talk really slow. Makes me trip out more and freak out. :/
This was only a third of the food I took home and I ate some there to. :)
Taro and banana in coconut cream, Lamb and there’s sausages but I don’t like them. On the other plate I also had Taro and banana, Lamb and noodles with pesto. Then the 3rd plate was just Chow mein.
Got to love family gatherings. You get free food and drinks and the joy and laughter with everyone you love. :)
Christmas gathering!!
So technically yesterday I had a family Christmas gathering (because it’s past midnight) and we had really shit weather. Out at Logan being Bogan’s (That’s what you’re called when you live there or born there because it’s a shit hole) anyway we went to an Aunt’s house first to pick something up and it decided to rain really heavily when we’re about to leave so we’re held up longer.
Then we went to Macca’s 10 mins away from that house and I shouted everyone a McFlurry or drink and we waited what felt like 10-15 mins for something that’d take 5 mins and we’re in drive thru and watching cars just pass us -__- then once we got our stuff they gave us one extra McFlurry which was a bonus but then I got my strawberry thickshake and it tasted like SHIT!! I felt like throwing up/ chucking it out of the car.
Then we went to the shops then headed to where the party was at. Saw family members I hadn’t seen in ages and one person aka my cousin who I saw at schoolies and had awkward moment because he didn’t remember me when I said hi and I tried to explain how we’re related but it’s difficult to do that because it’s so much family to go through :/ but I still had fun and it was his dads birthday which he remembers who I am :) and who also said to me standing behind me saying “you should do weights!” haha… Then went into how I played rugby league and then onto body building. But it was good there was food and the company of family oh and the music can’t forget that stuff. :)
So…
So there’s this 13 year old girl that my brother is/was/are friends with I don’t know. But anyway I used to bag the pair out saying they were dating or telling them they both like each other when the other wasn’t listening when they were in like year 1/2/3 (We left when my brother was starting in grade 4) and stuff because I knew her older siblings and we got along pretty well and I must say my brother should defs date her like I told them.
They’d be perfect because of what they have in common
- They’re both cocky
- Both are smart
- They’re funny
- As well as smart asses
- They’d make life interesting for each other
- And they’re both special ;)
- Oh and they both have great personalities
- And the humour part but you’s probably already got that by now.
P.s. Going to work with sinuses is SHIT!! But it got better when I work with the people I work with and you take medicine. :)
There’s this girl in the mirror, I wonder who she is. Sometimes I think I know her and sometimes I wish I did. There is a story in her eyes, lullabies, and goodbye. When she’s looking back at me I can tell…she’s hurting inside.
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One message I have left!!
This is one message I could find that is about me and issues that go on through home that I'm talking about to my Aunt.
Me: re- mum and dad
hi yee-yee how r u?
mum and dad r pissy at me for not doin evering thin they want me to do.
Now things at scool nd home rnt helpin as i think im goin 2 fail becos of evrything like my science assignment (draft) isnt finish cos i dont have time to do everithin and if u would be able to c evrythin and u wouldnt be very happy.
becos mum wanted me to make pasta nd everything was not how she and dad wanted it and said that she was ready to smash me nd im cryin so much that i cant c the letters im typin right now.
I think i shouldnt even do grade ten because i already think im gonna fail the main subjects and evrythin because everythin gettin on me and i cant stay wit u cos mums alredy payed the levy and my attitudes changin towards them is becos i cant do anythin and i cant do anythin witout them gettin cranky at me.
One time i was ready to run off and that day was wen they both beat me to the ground kickin and hittin me with their hands and feet and punchin me.
They may get me nice things like the laptop and phone but they use that aganst me to do chores and they sprung the laptop on me when i wanted a phone and psp/or ipod.
In maths my friend said to me to call police when they hurt me but i coulndt as they may hav had the kids takin away from them and i dont want that to happin to the kids.
When i came back from ur house from sleepin ova they say their happy witout me and that makes me so sad and mum always takes dads side and i just wanna say that he is a bid fat lazy piece of shit and i mean that.
when they get the tax money they want to save up to buy a car and get dad new dentures or sumthin and i ask when can i get braces and i neded them since i was nine yrs old nd it hasnt happend dad juststared at me wierdly and said stuff about himself and he has more things than i do and iv lived wit mum for longer than he does and he has thousands of things.
i need more clothes and i cant cos they dont hav enogh money for me cos im liked left out,picked on inthe house and the only one that does anything and i dont even get pocket money i like get 5.00 on wednesday and ask for couple of dollars like every 2 days and she said i cant get a job until i prioritise things all chores and homework and i cant even hav a play and im sick of it and u no how dad does nothin mum says in her custom the boys havnt got to jack all thats y the boys r naughty cos mum wasnt their to teachem how 2 behav.
im being treated like a maid arond the house i swear u put a camera round the house no 1 does anythin nd mum says ill get nowhere if i priortise anythin i cant be a kid and hav fun, im lik an adult. I cant play sports cos no one can pay 4 it and take me to the places i need to go.
im scared and not at the same time and thik im gonna end up in hospital cos of them. theyve hit me on the haed so many times they've liked made me dumb
can u try and get vic fone no pls witout mums permission i couldnt find the lettr he sent me
i luv u yee-yee hopfully i can cum 2 ur house for our birhtdays again
luv tiki
pls dont tell mum,dad,aunty tania cos she tells on me if its sumthin lik this or nina
Aunt: 20 February 2009
Hi Tiki, yeeyee is so sori to here that you are through all that!
Please email me your number and yeye will give you a call when no one is there with you!!!!
Please take care of yourself we love you very much and I'm always here for you, jus remember that!
luv yeye
Stole le brosef’s BONDS boxer shorts before he even gets to wear them because that’s how it is. He shouldn’t have shown me because he knew I wanted his fluoro yellow ones.
One thing about me is that you should never show me clothes I’d actually want to wear that can fit me because you may never see it again. Haha…
